Boy, have I been through a lot this week! From taking a “ruff rider” bus to the heavily drunk conductor threatening to beat a passenger to death. But my Lagos story I have decided to share with you is my “sandwich experience”. So I took bus from Iyana Ipaja to Yaba some days ago at an unusually high price but what would i have done as it seemed like all the bus drivers had colluded to dupe passengers that morning. So because of the price hike, they couldn’t get all of their passengers at the park so they had to pick up passengers on the way.
There was this woman sitting directly beside me, right by the window and she had already taken up all the space, but that wasn’t even a problem because the guy beside me was as skinny as I am so I was cool. Unfortunately for me, they picked this man that was quite fat to complete the seat on I was. Brethren! We were smooched like Titus sardine yo.
The woman finally got to her bus stop and we were definitely happy to see her go, but the issue was we all had to get down for her to alight, yeah that’s how big she was!
But as if we haven’t been through enough,this annoying conductor carried another big woman that quickly scurried into the bus before we even had a chance to get back in. Every other passenger in the bus started laughing at us, I mean we literally went from frying pan to fire!! And this woman had a straight face the entire time; my fellow skinny passenger kept muttering “una just dey squeeze us for here” while the other fat man kept replying him with “do you know the meaning of sandwich?” Needless to say my neighbor was not finding any of it funny!
Oh! Did I tell you guys that I was laughing while all this was going on? In fact, I laughed so hard that I was out of breath. That’s one of the cons of being a lagosian, isn’t it?
Halima Bakenne
