This topic has been on my mind for quite a while. About a week ago, I was watching a show called BK Chat London; it’s basically a talk show where they get a bunch of guys and ladies to talk about real stuff that’s going on around the world (topics ranging from celibacy and race to police brutality and whether escorts are prostitutes or not). The particular topic revolved around financial responsibilities in relationships, and along the line, a male panelist made the assertion that women are “inferior” in the relationship.
As you can imagine, it sparked a lot of controversy. Ladies on the panel got irked and started haranguing the poor fellow about how his views were wrong and that he needed to get his facts straight, blah, blah, blah.
So it got me thinking; “Are women really inferior in the relationship?”
Here are my two cents:
In truth, there’s a certain level off dominance that a man has in every relationship. Responsibilities apart, cultural and religious values instill the fact that women should have regard and deference for their partner and spouses.
However, the truth is that respect and reverence are two-way streets. You get, but you give as well. This is where a lot of men go wrong.
There’s this mindset that a lot of men have about how they are the superiors in every relationship, and most of them abuse the default authority that they have and go on to treat their spouses wrongly. This is why we have stuff like cheating men, domestic abuse, discrimination, restrictions, etc.
Ideally, this isn’t right.
While your woman has an obligation to respect you, it is your right to respect her as well. The fact that you’re the de facto head in a relationship (or of the family, if you guys do get married) doesn’t give you a pass to go off the rails and become a dictator. Your girlfriends (or wife, as the case maybe) has rights; a right to be heard, a right to pursue her goals and ambitions, a right to act, a right to ask questions, etc.
The Bible even supports it.
Another thing that most men fail to get s the fact that respect- especially in a relationship- is usually earned. Being a man is about being a rock; you’ve got to prove the fact that you’re a man, and your women will submit by default.
It’s something that even goes beyond being the provider. A lot of men work the 9 to 5 and bring home Lion checks, but still lack the respect of their women and while I’m not supporting the fact that you should be a lazy man, you need to understand the fact that money alone doesn’t keep a relationship together. Being a man is being a visionary, a protector, a rock, a leader, and a solution provider. Without qualities like these, the fact is that your woman won’t ever look up to you.
So in general, while women do owe men a level of respect in relationships, it really is a give-and-take. Prove to our woman that you’re a man and she’ll naturally fall in line.
Image: blog.blominvestbank
Dahunsi Oyedele
